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soul - ache  - ideas, sounds and images between the already and the not-yet

on holding the door

A couple of weeks ago Jen and I were running errands and anxiously enjoying our last night as a household of two. We couldn't decide where to eat dinner and I had a craving for steak. I probably shouldn't have been surprised at the 30 minute wait at Longhorn on a Friday night, but it was an inconvenience nonetheless.


With the waiting area overflowing with other hungry waiting patrons, we were face with the unenviable task of finding a place to stand and wait. I twas unseasonably cold that particular day and Jen's short sleeves and my brilliant decision to wear shorts and sandals ruled out taking this party outside to the waiting benches. We were resigned to stand in the "holding tank" between the entry door and the door into the restaurant.

Pretty soon it became apparent that this was Grand Central Station--there were people constantly going in and out. Those coming out were sure not to return, but the new party coming in would soon be making an exit, once they surveyed the sea of humanity inside. 

Standing awkwardly against the wall, I soon felt compelled to hold the door for folks coming in and going out. Once you've done this for one person, the guilt settles in and it quickly becomes apparent that this would be my chosen occupation--the somewhat involuntary doorman.

Don't get me wrong, doing something nice for people is simple courtesy, even an act of love, but it was not, I must confess my first instinct. Well, maybe it was, but I wasn't feeling so good about the decision after I'd broken off conversation with Jen yet again, only to open the door for the fiftieth time, 10 of which were for two children who were apparently beyond parental eyeshot.

After awhile I thought "this is uncomfortable, but a little funny." I felt like I should have a uniform and white gloves, like the doormen in New York in the movies always have. And that's when Scripture creeps into your mind--when you're daydreaming.

Psalm 84 says it this way:
Better is one day in your courts 
       than a thousand elsewhere; 
       I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God 
       than dwell in the tents of the wicked.

It's still hard for me to think of that passage without the song automatically playing on the jukebox of my brain.

Better Is One Day by Matt Redman  
(download)


I realized that when you're a doorkeeper, you miss out on the party. Every one else is eating, drinking, laughing and having a good time. You just get to smile at them as they leave with their bellies full. It is a relatively thankless job (1 out of 5, tops). 

The Psalmist claims that being a doorkeeper at the house of God is better than living it up with the wicked. I'm no hedonist, but after 30 glorious minutes as an involuntary doorman, I'd take the tents of the wicked for a seat and a cold sweet tea.

At our church volunteers do most everything. On any given Sunday, there's folks teaching Sunday School, making coffee, running records back and forth, ushering, collecting the offering, praying during the service, reading Scripture or leading music. Every once in awhile when the youth ensemble performs someone working in the nursery's extended session will say "Can I find someone to take my shift for ten minutes so I can see my son do their song?"

As the now parent of a three-year old, and all the challenges that come with it, I have renewed respect for the two ladies who teach his Sunday School Class who have both been at it for over ten years together. It is more than just service, it's a calling.

Sometimes it takes being an unpaid doorman to make you realize the work of the people around you. 

And that may just be the best kind of liturgy.

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Filed under  //   better is one day   church   doorman   Psalms   service  
Posted March 25, 2009
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on things seen and overheard (while walking on a sunday morning)

 

Walking On A Sunday Morning by Kyle Matthews  
(download)

On any given Sunday, churches are crowded with folks in various states of preparedness for what awaits them. It's a chore for some, a welcome relief for others. Some parents spend two hours getting the kids ready while some youth and college students roll out of bed grizzled and unwashed. 

I'm surprised anyone thinks it's different for the people who work at the church.


It's true, some Sundays are better than others. Sometimes I can't wait for church and sometimes I can dread the questions and unfulfilled obligations that await. Unfortunately, like most things, most of the time it's somewhere in the middle, verging on "auto-pilot" at this point. 

Last Sunday was different. I can't say why exactly, but there was some genuine lightness in my step, as Kyle Matthews' song articulates much more clearly than this entry. 

It was in that Sunday morning walk--here and there, between Sunday School classes and the sound booth, around corners and in the narthex, on the porch and from the pulpit--it was in those places that I was a bit more attuned to the whispers of the Spirit all around me. It turns out it's all around you, if you'll just listen for it.

It's in the presence of a teenager, come to visit and stay with her sister while her Mom undergoes cancer treatment.

It's in the brothers playing the guitar and banjo and laughing about how neither are ever in tune.

It's in watching a family shuffle by you saying "We NEVER get here in time for Sunday School!" and laughing, because you know they drove an hour and a half to be here because they can't "find a place that feels like home" in their new town.

It's in hearing Sunday School teachers--executives and elementary school teachers--acting out a play for the 4 & 5 year olds.

It's in being addressed by your church custodian eager to introduce you to a new visitor.

It's in hearing the voice of a youth you haven't seen in awhile call your name across the church parking lot.

It's when a grown man gives the Invocation and says "You are our hope, You are our love."

It's there in the notes emanating from the piano as the musician's fingers fly and "Come Thou Fount" flows from the keys.

It's in the Music Minister's insistence that the congregation belt out in their largest, "outside voices" 
 "Songs of praises, songs of praises,  
I WILL EVER GIVE TO THEE!" 
 
It's in the voice of the pastor of 14 years saying "I'm thankful for the minister this church has allowed me to be and is helping me to become". 

 I'm sure there are a hundred reasons not to go to church, or even my church. And I imagine, given the time and energy, I could come up with a pretty good list. What I can't imagine is missing all that and after all, 

that was just one morning.

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Filed under  //   church   kyle matthews   sundays  
Posted January 6, 2009
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