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soul - ache  - ideas, sounds and images between the already and the not-yet

on holding the door

A couple of weeks ago Jen and I were running errands and anxiously enjoying our last night as a household of two. We couldn't decide where to eat dinner and I had a craving for steak. I probably shouldn't have been surprised at the 30 minute wait at Longhorn on a Friday night, but it was an inconvenience nonetheless.


With the waiting area overflowing with other hungry waiting patrons, we were face with the unenviable task of finding a place to stand and wait. I twas unseasonably cold that particular day and Jen's short sleeves and my brilliant decision to wear shorts and sandals ruled out taking this party outside to the waiting benches. We were resigned to stand in the "holding tank" between the entry door and the door into the restaurant.

Pretty soon it became apparent that this was Grand Central Station--there were people constantly going in and out. Those coming out were sure not to return, but the new party coming in would soon be making an exit, once they surveyed the sea of humanity inside. 

Standing awkwardly against the wall, I soon felt compelled to hold the door for folks coming in and going out. Once you've done this for one person, the guilt settles in and it quickly becomes apparent that this would be my chosen occupation--the somewhat involuntary doorman.

Don't get me wrong, doing something nice for people is simple courtesy, even an act of love, but it was not, I must confess my first instinct. Well, maybe it was, but I wasn't feeling so good about the decision after I'd broken off conversation with Jen yet again, only to open the door for the fiftieth time, 10 of which were for two children who were apparently beyond parental eyeshot.

After awhile I thought "this is uncomfortable, but a little funny." I felt like I should have a uniform and white gloves, like the doormen in New York in the movies always have. And that's when Scripture creeps into your mind--when you're daydreaming.

Psalm 84 says it this way:
Better is one day in your courts 
       than a thousand elsewhere; 
       I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God 
       than dwell in the tents of the wicked.

It's still hard for me to think of that passage without the song automatically playing on the jukebox of my brain.

Better Is One Day by Matt Redman  
(download)


I realized that when you're a doorkeeper, you miss out on the party. Every one else is eating, drinking, laughing and having a good time. You just get to smile at them as they leave with their bellies full. It is a relatively thankless job (1 out of 5, tops). 

The Psalmist claims that being a doorkeeper at the house of God is better than living it up with the wicked. I'm no hedonist, but after 30 glorious minutes as an involuntary doorman, I'd take the tents of the wicked for a seat and a cold sweet tea.

At our church volunteers do most everything. On any given Sunday, there's folks teaching Sunday School, making coffee, running records back and forth, ushering, collecting the offering, praying during the service, reading Scripture or leading music. Every once in awhile when the youth ensemble performs someone working in the nursery's extended session will say "Can I find someone to take my shift for ten minutes so I can see my son do their song?"

As the now parent of a three-year old, and all the challenges that come with it, I have renewed respect for the two ladies who teach his Sunday School Class who have both been at it for over ten years together. It is more than just service, it's a calling.

Sometimes it takes being an unpaid doorman to make you realize the work of the people around you. 

And that may just be the best kind of liturgy.

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Filed under  //   better is one day   church   doorman   Psalms   service  
Posted March 25, 2009
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stars and satellites (or backyards, Fomalhaut and divine creativity)

         
Click here to download:
stars_and_satellites_or_backya.zip (9995 KB)

Stars And Satellites by Steve Jones  
(download)

Preface: Hit "play" on the song above--it makes a nice soundtrack to this post!

"He took him outside and said, "Look up at the heavens and count the stars—if indeed you can count them."--Genesis 15:5


One of the best parts of living out in the sticks is the lack of "light pollution" at night. The stars and planets seem to jump off the purple-black dome of sky. Every time you look up, it seems like there's something that wasn't there before. You have to stand there for a minute to make sure it's not a plane or a satellite in orbit. Somewhere, somehow, you secretly know it has a name, but it's probably something like Zorbalflax 13 in the Aquinarius region. It's new to me, and for the moment that's all that really matters. I can't even take a picture of it, but the first one above is what Google Sky tells me my backyard looks like at night, and it looks pretty familiar. I can at least get Orion's Belt out of it.

Last week I heard a report that a recently observed star from another galaxy called Fomalhaut appears to have a planet orbiting it. The Hubble space telescope has noticed it's movement from 2004 to 2006. It's barely a reflective speck in the "star dust" on the image. If you look at the pictures above, you can barely see it. NASA did a whole write-up on it here: http://www.nasa.gov/mission_pages/hubble/science/fomalhaut.html

I love looking at the stars. There's something powerful and ancient about staring into the heavens, and knowing David did the same when he wrote about "He who brings out the starry hosts and calls them each by name." And every human being since the dawn of time has, at one point, considered them.

And as I stood there barefooted on my patio, freezing through my t-shirt I remembered it was 30 degrees. And somewhere in my head I heard a taunting echo from Genesis 15. Yahweh, the God of Israel has just promised Abram that he will be the father of many nations when he declares "Count the stars, if you can! So shall your offspring be." 

God dares us to count them, if we can. Ten-thousand years later we've built multi-million dollar satellites, theorized and conjectured on what still appears to be a limitless universe. 

Yesterday I was writing someone a message when I was reminded of something I'm still learning--"Our vision of God should always get bigger, not smaller."

To the infinitely creative God
who gives worlds their form,
galaxies their place and stars their radiance,

To the One who brings out the starry hosts
and is able to do exceedingly, abundantly
beyond all that we could ask or think-

To God be glory in the Church, in the Universe
and in Christ our Lord forever and ever.
Amen.

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Filed under  //   creativity   Psalms   spaces   stars   steve jones   universe  
Posted November 19, 2008
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like a broken record (or Beyonce, Sonseed and a Psalm)

I'm getting sick and while I'm still trying to get out from under the NyQuil hangover, my evening was bookended by a common theme--repetition.


Jen and I were catching up on our TiVo last night and finally got around to watching Saturday Night live from this past week.I'm tempted to talk about how Kenan Thompson for a split second reminded me of the great Chris Farley or how funny Justin Timberlake actually is, which thwarts my loathing of him for being so freakishly good at many things. Somewhere in between Beyonce "performed" songs from her new album, the curiously idiosyncratic "I am Sasha Fierce". ( I hope this identity crisis doesn't go down the way the whole Garth Brooks/Chris Gaines thing did, but now I'm rambling.)

She did one song that she half-sang, half-danced that was something along the lines of "ringtone pop" but it was so catchy that I went to bed with the melody firmly implanted in my brain. Like a broken record, it just kept repeating, on and on and on and on...

Then this morning, while checking my facebook (the 21st century equivalent to walking out and getting the paper) I find a friend has posted this video:


I had heard of this video and resisted watching it, but resistance is, as they say, futile. I DARE you to watch it and not have the infectious bass line in your head. Wait until you check e-mail after lunch and catch that pre-ska rhythm and curiously adorned back-up singers running through your head.

Repetition, supposedly, teaches us things. I can sing every word off the DC Talk "Free at Last" album (seriously, Jen and I quizzed each other on the way to church Sunday). I can do this because I listened to the tape (and CD, once I got my CD player) approximately 38 quadrillion times. Beyonce and "Sonseed" are memorable because the hook-i-ness of their songs repeat so often that you can't get it out of your head without replacing it with another, equally annoying song. (Poe got this--even if you kill "The Raven" there will always be something else)

All these things were running through my mind when I sat down to read my Daily Lectionary readings. I get them by e-mail, which is an awfully lazy way to do any kind of "spiritual discipline", but I like to think it's like having a home gym--it's there, but you still gotta do the work. Anyway, for some reason I don't understand, the Revised Common Lectionary loops through the latter half of the Psalms this year. I've been in Psalm 140-150 the whole year and I've almost got the dang thing memorized because I keep reading it. Today was Psalm 146 (again)

 

DAILY LECTIONARY

Morning: Psalm 146:1-10

[1] Praise the LORD! Praise the LORD, O my soul!
[2] I will praise the LORD as long as I live;
I will sing praises to my God all my life long.

[3] Do not put your trust in princes,
in mortals, in whom there is no help.
[4] When their breath departs, they return to the earth;
on that very day their plans perish.

[5] Happy are those whose help is the God of Jacob,
whose hope is in the LORD their God,
[6] who made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that is in them;
who keeps faith forever;
[7] who executes justice for the oppressed;
who gives food to the hungry.

[8] the LORD opens the eyes of the blind.
The LORD lifts up those who are bowed down;
the LORD loves the righteous.
[9] The LORD watches over the strangers;
he upholds the orphan and the widow,
but the way of the wicked he brings to ruin.

[10] The LORD will reign forever,
your God, O Zion, for all generations.
Praise the LORD!

I find myself saying "Okay God, I get this one--can we move on? Some new material perhaps? I know--I bet this Habakkuk reading will have something good!!"
And today I noticed the repetition. not just of the Psalm in my inbox, but the phrase "the LORD". 

Truth be told, this has quickly become a "new favorite" passage for me but it was, after all, once a song. Maybe even one with an annoying tune that gets stuck in your head. And it reminds me that when I'm tempted to think I'm the one doing all these things--opening blind eyes, watching over strangers, widows, the oppressed and the down-trodden--well, I've seriously lost the plot. 

It's a holy thing to join God in the restoration of all things, but it can wear you down. The vicious cycle of use and abuse is enough repetition to drive anyone mad. 

Maybe we just need to be reminded that God is working it out with and without us.

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Filed under  //   culture   music   Psalms  
Posted November 18, 2008
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